5 Signs Your Partner is Stonewalling You
Stonewalling is a common phenomenon in relationships where one partner refuses to engage in a conversation or respond to the other's concerns. It can be frustrating, hurtful, and damaging to the relationship. Here are five signs that your partner is stonewalling you:
1. They Disengage Emotionally
When your partner is stonewalling, they may become emotionally distant and unresponsive. They may stop making eye contact, turn away, or become preoccupied with something else. This can make you feel unheard, unimportant, and un validated.
2. They're Dismissive of Your Concerns
Stonewalling partners often dismiss or minimize their partner's concerns, making them feel unheard and unimportant. They may say things like "it's not a big deal" or "you're overreacting." This can be hurtful and make you feel like your feelings and needs are not being taken seriously.
3. They Completely Ignore You
In some cases, stonewalling partners may completely ignore their partner, pretending they don't exist. This can be a form of emotional abuse and can make you feel small, insignificant, and unimportant.
4. They Start Doing Another Activity Mid-Conversation
Stonewalling partners may start doing another activity mid-conversation, such as checking their phone, watching TV, or engaging in a hobby. This can make you feel like you're not important enough to warrant their attention.
5. They Don't Respond, Even When Asked Direct Questions
Stonewalling partners may refuse to respond to direct questions or engage in a conversation, even when asked repeatedly. This can be frustrating and make you feel like you're not being heard or validated.
What to Do If Your Partner is Stonewalling You
If you suspect that your partner is stonewalling you, there are several things you can do:
- Use "I" Statements: Try using "I" statements to express your feelings and concerns, rather than "you" statements that can come across as accusatory.
- Ask for a Break: If the conversation is becoming too heated or emotional, ask for a break and revisit the conversation when you're both feeling calmer.
- Address Stonewalling Outside of Conflict: Try to address the stonewalling behavior outside of conflict, when you're both feeling calm and rational.
- Take Care of Yourself: Make sure to take care of yourself and prioritize your own emotional well-being.
- Seek Couples Therapy: If the stonewalling behavior continues and is causing problems in your relationship, consider seeking couples therapy to work through the issues together.
Conclusion
Stonewalling can be a damaging behavior in relationships, but it's not impossible to overcome. By recognizing the signs of stonewalling and taking steps to address the behavior, you can work towards a healthier and more fulfilling relationship. Remember to prioritize your own emotional well-being and seek help if needed.