Are Ultimatums In Relationships Always Toxic?
It follows a group of couples where one person is issuing an ultimatum to the other — either get engaged to be married or break up. Of course, the show involves all kinds of messiness made for good TV drama, but the premise got me thinking.
Are ultimatums in relationships always toxic?
Or are they the same as implementing a standard that you should make no apology for?
There is one key difference between establishing a standard and giving someone an ultimatum.
Generally, standards are established in the beginning, or early on in a relationship.
You meet someone, you like them, and you get to know them a little better over the course of days, weeks, or months.
This “getting to know you” phase is typically where we address our standards. We know how we want to be treated, the type of guy or girl we’re looking to be with long-term, and the qualities that set us off.
Generally, as we get to know someone, we match them up to the check boxes on a subconscious list of standards. Read More...