Corrupt anonymous assures that Maduro was not invited to orgies because he ate all the chocolate
The first national president and sommelier of gummy sancochos, Nicolás Maduro, yesterday reproached the corrupt who stole billions of dollars from PDVSA who organized orgies that he was not aware of. However, one of the yellow-spotted white-collar fugitives explained, on condition of anonymity, that the main reason Maduro was not invited back to these depraved feasts was because he ate all the chocolate lube.
"The only time we invited him, the flavored lubricants disappeared, and when we realized it he was eating them with a canilla bread and a soda in the kitchen," said the honest businessman, whose only crime was embezzling the Nation's assets: “In addition, he said that it didn't matter and that if they wanted lubrication, he had brought his can of WD40 that he always carries in his fanny pack. Not like that either! With so much effort we brought our imported chantilly, some delicately cut strawberries to have everything ready at the time of eroticism and he grabbed at will and ate the whole package of Halls while playing Candy Crush and falling asleep in the furniture. Read More…
