Dickhead who is always late acting like it's somehow beyond their control
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Loading... - Eva Reilly
- 18 Oct 2024
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In a world where time is money and schedules are sacred, there exists a unique breed of individual who defies the very laws of punctuality. Meet the Dickhead Who Is Always Late (DWIAL), a master of the art of tardiness who somehow manages to turn every appointment into a game of “Will They or Won’t They Show Up?” Spoiler alert: they won’t.
You might wonder how these latecomers manage to be consistently tardy, despite the plethora of timekeeping devices available at their fingertips. The DWIAL has perfected the art of making excuses that are as creative as they are implausible. “I lost track of time,” they say, as if time were a mischievous cat that slipped through their fingers. “Traffic was terrible!” they lament, even when they live a mere five minutes away from the meeting point. It’s almost as if they believe that the universe has conspired against them, creating a cosmic force field that prevents them from arriving on time. Perhaps they think they are the protagonists in a poorly written sitcom, where every episode revolves around their struggle against the clock.
The DWIAL has an arsenal of excuses that would make even the most seasoned politician blush. One of their go-to lines is the “I Was Just About to Leave” gambit. This classic excuse suggests they were mere moments away from departure, yet somehow, they found themselves ensnared in a web of distractions—like scrolling through social media or binge-watching a show they’ve seen a hundred times. Then there’s the “Unexpected Emergency” card, often accompanied by a dramatic sigh and a story about a “sudden” crisis that required their immediate attention. Whether it’s a pet emergency or a “family situation,” the DWIAL has a knack for making their personal drama sound like a scene from a soap opera. For the truly audacious, there’s the “Time Zone Confusion” conundrum, where they claim to be operating under a different time zone. “I thought we were meeting at 3 PM Pacific Time!” they exclaim, despite the fact that they’ve lived in the same city for years.
While the DWIAL may believe their lateness is a minor inconvenience, the reality is that it sends shockwaves through the carefully constructed schedules of those around them. Meetings are delayed, plans are disrupted, and the collective patience of their friends, family, and colleagues is tested to its limits. Yet, the DWIAL remains blissfully unaware of the chaos they create. They waltz in, often with a nonchalant attitude, as if their tardiness is a charming quirk rather than a blatant disregard for other people’s time.
In a world that values punctuality and respect for others, the Dickhead Who Is Always Late serves as a reminder of the importance of time management and consideration for those around us. While their antics may provide a source of amusement, it’s essential to recognize that time is a precious commodity—one that should not be squandered on the whims of the chronically late. So, the next time you find yourself waiting for the DWIAL, take a deep breath, remind yourself that their tardiness is not a reflection of your worth, and perhaps, just perhaps, consider investing in a good book or a podcast. After all, if you can’t beat them, you might as well enjoy the wait.
