Honestly Things Aren’t Looking Good So I Wouldn’t Click Through
It’s time for your sex horoscope! I don’t want to alarm you, but it’s not looking cute for any of the signs. No, for real, I’d skip this one. Just stop reading here so that everything that comes this week is a happy, if not bad, surprise. Okay, if you insist on checking it out just remember that I warned you, and don’t check the moon, Mars, or rising because it’ll only inform you more of your ill-fortuned fate.
Aquarius
Yeah, I would stop having sex in general, just because it’s not really working out for you. Try picking up knitting or crochet, and consider using your hands in new and exciting ways.
Pisces
Even though you’re a water sign, you are in a bit of a dry spell. Yeah sorry, babe, that’s not ending anytime soon. Work on your ability to maintain a great conversation, because that’s all you’ve got right now.
Aries
Tell me something Aries, do you like being alone? Well, get used to it because it’s looking like you’ll be spending a lot more time in an empty bed. Try using the extra time you’ll have from this lack of sexual intercourse to meditate!
Taurus
Taurus, you are used to your good luck and charm bringing in all of the hotties for you. Well, now it’s wearing thin. People are over your congenial nature — you’re way too nice. It’s scaring the hoes. Read More…