How to connect with the wrong people in business
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Loading... - tobby david
- 02 Jun 2023
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If you're looking for a tongue-in-cheek guide on how to connect with the wrong people in the business world, you've come to the right place.
1. Be oblivious to their interests: When attending networking events or business conferences, make sure to completely ignore the interests and needs of the people you're trying to connect with. Instead, focus on promoting yourself and your own agenda. They'll appreciate your self-centered approach.
2. Use outdated communication methods: In this digital age, nothing says "I'm out of touch" quite like using fax machines, carrier pigeons, or even smoke signals to communicate with potential business contacts. Embrace these archaic methods, and you'll be sure to stand out from the crowd—for all the wrong reasons.
3. Exaggerate your accomplishments: People love hearing about how amazing you are, so feel free to embellish your achievements and inflate your credentials. Remember, the more unbelievable your claims, the more memorable you'll be to others. They won't suspect a thing.
4. Show up unprepared: Whenever you have a meeting or a networking opportunity, make sure to arrive completely unprepared. Don't bother researching the person or company you're meeting with; wing it instead. This shows your spontaneity and ability to think on your feet (or so you'll convince yourself).
5. Constantly name-drop: The best way to impress the wrong people is to constantly drop the names of high-profile individuals you claim to know or have worked with. Even if these connections are tenuous or non-existent, it doesn't matter. The bigger the names, the more people will want to associate with you—or at least, that's what you'll convince yourself.
6. Overpromise and underdeliver: Set unrealistic expectations for your work and then fail to meet them. This will ensure that you're quickly recognized as someone who can't be trusted or relied upon. Remember, it's all about making a lasting impression, even if it's a negative one.
7. Take credit for others' accomplishments: If you happen to be part of a team that achieves success, make sure to take all the credit for yourself. It's important to let others know that you're the star of the show and that everyone else is just riding your coattails. They'll surely be impressed by your audacity.
