How to not get mugged as a student
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Loading... - Aafrin Hadji
- 12 Apr 2023
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With rising crime rates, high schoolers have emerged as the leading victims of muggings in our dimly lit streets. Chronic Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) and a startling lack of street-smartness have been cited as primary reasons for this crisis. Thankfully, studies conducted by the University of Hard Knocks have made ground-breaking progress in preparing students against this rising threat. Here are their findings.
"An often-overlooked aspect is body language," says head researcher and first-year student Kuddus Kareem. "High schoolers are targeted because they look like bundled masses of insecurity. They need to walk the roads with longer strides, appear more confident, and man up! So long as they look like nerds, they're easy pickings for robbers."
Of the 67 times Kuddus has been mugged over the past three months, he claims 66 were intentional, and "totally, definitely for research purposes".
Kuddus mentioned that a general rule of thumb is to avoid crowds, as it's easy for muggers to confront and pressure you in a crowd into giving up your valuables in plain sight. Most bystanders won't feel the need to rush to a stranger's defence. Read More…
