How to Park Your Car Directly on the White Lines to Establish You’re the Alpha at This Trader Joe’s
-
Loading... - Logan Devine
- 03 Mar 2023
- 53 Views
- 0 Like
- 0 Comment
Do you command total respect but also enjoy a playful shopping atmosphere while stocking up on quirky pantry items? Are you struggling to showcase your superiority clearly and succinctly to the lesser idiots shopping at the same store as you? Well, we’ve got your back; here’s how to park your car on the white lines to tell the world you OWN this Trader Joe’s.
Have the right accessories
It’s a safe bet that if you have rubber testicles or a vagina featured on the back of your electric/hybrid vehicle, you are already telegraphing your supremacy. But you can upgrade this. Maximize your influence by displaying a gender neutral anus on the rear of your Subaru. We recommend crafting it yourself from reclaimed materials.
Also, having a subwoofer installed will command everyone’s attention and force them to listen to your choice of either The Arcade Fire or The Lumineers.
Find your spot
Look for a space near the store entrance or cart return for prime visibility. Although handicapped spots would be ideal, never park there unless you are handicapped. We may be better than everyone else but we’re not monsters. Read More…
