How to pretend you're cool with your friend getting a glamorous media job
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Loading... - sara harriet
- 03 Feb 2023
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Has a close friend just got a cool job in the media and, in your mind at least, is now one of life’s winners? Here’s how to pretend you’re not hideously twisted with jealousy.
Tell them of your joy in no uncertain terms
Say you’re really happy they’re hanging out with Alex Jones or Richard Osman or whoever now. Tell them right to their smug bastard little face. Also compliment them on the amazing attributes that got them the job, such as having rich parents. Above all you’ll always be there for them if they need a plus-one for a star-studded BBC party. You might meet Dan Snow. F**k!
Blabber on to everyone
To make sure there’s no room for doubt about your feelings of happiness for your lucky f**k of a friend, repost their big news on your own feed with sickly comments about how proud you are. Remember, the more exclamation marks you use, the more enthusiastic you will seem!!!!!!!
Show your support
Now they’ve bagged themselves a cool TV job, show how supportive you are by pestering them for live-record audience tickets and backstage passes. Post photos of their glamorous working environment on all social media. If you happen to catch them in unflattering poses, such as scrabbling around on the floor like a dog while wiping up Clare Balding’s spilt tea, so much the better. Read More…
