How to spend a horrible weekend with your parents
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Loading... - Patrick Okine
- 19 Aug 2022
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Are you seeing your parents at the weekend? Here’s how to be sure you have a tense and horrible time with them.
You go to them
Do you fancy a few days trapped in the past, realising how different you are now to how you were when you lived with them and yet also how disturbingly similar? Being back in your childhood home will also bring out the difficult teenager still dormant within you and make full-scale family rows a certainty. The food will be good, though.
They come to you
Invite them to come over to yours so you can feel judged for the state of your house/life choices and still be washing the million or so tea cups they got through on Tuesday. You’ll also be sleeping on the sofa because they’ve got your bed, so you’ll instantly regret inviting them and not have any privacy to have a good swear about it.
Do something special
Pile on the pressure to ‘have a nice time’ by going for a meal out or theatre trip. You’ll try to pretend you’re enjoying hearing how much more successful and loving your mum’s friends’ kids are than you, but with the cumulative stress of booking stuff you’ll suddenly lose your shit and the psychological flood gates will open in a really inappropriate place, eg. surrounded by shocked tourists in horribly twee tea shop. Read More...
