Is your partner having an emotional affair?
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Loading... - Richard Wasswa
- 18 Jan 2022
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Relationships have for long been said to be a fragile matter and inasmuch as technology is changing so fast, hence trying to pull everything with it, some things remain unchanged. With marriage in mind, many wonder if sex before marriage is okay while others think it is not fine. So, where does one draw the line?
If people with varying thought lines are in a relationship, what happens? Do we get married to satAs little children, we argued our way to being understood. This went on into our adulthood and one thing always stood out, there is a thin line between arguing and quarrelling.
Sexual betrayal is the most recognised form of cheating in relationships. However, there are other forms of infidelity that are just as vicious and as harmful as a sexual betrayal. For example, your spouse may not be cheating sexually, but he could be emotionally attached to someone else. This form of attachment is what leads to an emotional affair.
What is it?
Are you emotionally more connected to another person than you are to your partner? An emotional affair is defined as: “You are having an emotional affair if you engage in communication, actions, or behaviours that encourage emotional intimacy with someone other than your spouse, and which also raise the possibility of an actual sexual affair,” says psychologist Patrick Musau. Emotional affairs are more likely to occur than sexual affairs. Dr Seth Meyers, a psychologist and the author of Dr Seth’s Love Prescription, says there are partners who, while uninterested in pursuing actual sexual affairs, maintain emotional affairs in order to feel wanted and desired and to kick out boredom and dissatisfaction in their primary relationships.
The thin line between an emotional affair and platonic relationships
According to Dr Abigail Brenner, a psychiatrist and the author of Transitions: How Women Embrace Change and Celebrate Life, there is a thin line between an emotional affair and a platonic friendship. This is the line that a spouse who is engaged in an emotional affair can use as a defence. “A platonic relationship and an emotional affair initially look similar. But as they progress, distinct differences emerge,” she says.
On one hand, Dr Brenner says, a platonic relationship will usually be with a friend whom you may like, admire or trust, and who you want to keep in your life. This will mostly be someone you have known for a long time. Your relationship will not be sexually inspired, and you will not shy away from letting your partner into this relationship. On the other hand, an emotional affair will be as discreet as a sexual affair.
“With an emotional affair, the level of emotional intimacy will be excessive. Also, the level of emotion that the cheating partner has invested in the affair will infringe on the level of intimacy, attraction, and satisfaction with the main spouse or partner,” says Dr Brenner. This infringement will then result in feelings of separation, loneliness, alienation, neglect, and abandonment. In some cases, this may lead the afflicted partner to also seek emotional and sexual fulfilment outside the relationship. Read More…
