National Security Nightmare: Matt Groening Has Defected To Iran And Is Believed To Be Helping The Ayatollah Draw Bart
-
Loading... - roman innogen
- 17 Mar 2023
- 82 Views
- 0 Like
- 0 Comment
America’s diplomatic relations in the Middle East are fragile enough as it is, and the U.S. intelligence community just discovered that the situation is may soon become far more precarious: Simpsons creator Matt Groening has defected to Iran and is believed to be helping the Ayatollah draw Bart.
This is absolutely terrifying.
According to recent CIA intelligence reports, Matt Groening renounced his U.S. citizenship earlier this week and booked a one-way flight to Tehran, where he was greeted by Supreme Leader Of Iran Ali Khameini and immediately led to the Ayatollah’s personal office. Sources within the House of Leadership say that Khameini and Groening scheduled an emergency meeting with President Ebrahim Raisi and top Iranian military personnel—and apparently, the pair requested sketch pads, pencils, and canvas prints of still frames from Bart-centric Simpsons episodes such as “Bart Sells His Soul” and “ “Bart Gets Famous,” strongly suggesting that the Department of Homeland Security’s worst fears over Iran’s Bart Simpson capability may come true imminently.
What’s even more cause for alarm is that within just six days of non-stop sketch practice overseen by Groening, new intel reports suggest that despite early struggles with Bart’s head and face proportions, Supreme Leader Khameini and a number of high-ranking Iranian officials are currently producing “pretty passable drawings of Bart exposing his buttocks to the viewer with a mischievous grin on his face, done without any tracing at all, to boot.” Read More…
