Nigeria and the 50 shades of shege
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Loading... - Ekene Odili
- 28 Apr 2023
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In this land, we have a term for suffering. Shege. The proverbial phrase, seeing shege, is a present participle that describes the action of going through it. And there’s levels to it, you see, because, in this land, we’re all in the same hell, just different levels.
Shege is the most basic unit of suffering in this land, and there’s enough of that breakfast to go around regardless of your social status.
Shege Lite is a step or two above the basic unit, depending on your social class. It is those little inconveniences that add to your universal suffering, causing you unnecessary discomfort. Shege lite could be anything, like your gas finishing on a Monday morning as you get ready for work, knowing damn well that you can’t abandon your work to go refill it, and by the time you close from work by 6 pm, so have the gas stations. So you either risk getting fired from your job to refill your gas cylinder or endure an entire week of inconvenience. Ma binu boda, living in this land is an extreme sport.
Shege Pro is shege lite on speed. At this stage, you’re really in it, as Greg from Everybody Hates Chris would say, “Dude, you’re so in there.” See ehn, when you’re in shege pro, o ti wa ni idoti. This is when things start to get real messy. This is when you go from shaving weekly to shaving once a month. This is when you stop by the roadside to buy ata of ₦200 and incur a flat tyre of ₦3,000, and here’s the plot twist: you have only ₦2,000 in your bank account and no spare tyre in your car trunk! This is when your gas finishes on a Monday and you can’t refill it until the end of the month, or the third day of the next month if your job decides to be an instrument of the devil. This is when your electricity unit runs out at 11 pm and you sigh a big disappointing hmmm as you cross your arms and legs on your bed, staring at the ceiling while your neighbour’s security light shines into your window. Ma binu boda, it’s all downhill from there. Read More…
