Not yet Uhuru for Gitegi under Harold
Every June 1, patriotic Kenyans gather to celebrate the day Kenya gained internal self-rule in 1963. Harold used to until I told him I doubted his patriotism. He even once changed his name to Patrick when attending Madaraka Day in Makadara and we had to do pronunciation tests so patriotic would sound different to Patrick in the future.
Our village has been inching closer to a dictatorship, with a ruler who knows he is beyond reproach.
After last week’s Gitegi Prayer Breakfast, which many of you called unnecessary shenanigans because you were not invited, we decided we were going to have our Madaraka Day celebrations and invite everybody.
Our armed forces, including Harold himself who always carries a penknife when he goes out to drink, would entertain guests, as did our The Kenya Defence Forces at Uhuru Gardens.
As a young man, Harold used to ensure he was always armed to the teeth as his wealth was always under threat, and so he has always been part of the defence forces. Now, he no longer has wealth nor does he retain many teeth.
June 1, Madaraka Day. Harold did not know how he was going to showcase his skills in defending the village from external attacks. I gave him an idea. Paul, who is an excellent artiste, drew Harold on an A4 piece of paper, which I made into a nice paper jet. I flew it and it worked.
Outside Harold Assemblies of Holy Associates (HAHA), we met, all excited at the prospect of seeing what our armed forces were capable of, and also hearing the Madaraka Day speech from our leader.
I, as usual, emceed the event. A foreign leader, Clarissa’s brother, whose name I have since forgotten was our chief guest.
Sue arrived and soon Clarissa swaggered to her seat, the two gunning for leadership on a ticket the independent, transparent electoral commission has already decided will place third in the polls.
When I called Sue to come talk to the gathering, she staggered forward, pretending to be high. She had passed her message; she could see aerial threats before they hit the village. Read More…