Overheated Homeless Man Hallucinates Living In Compassionate Society
Suffering under more than a week’s worth of record-breaking temperatures, local homeless man Glen Lane was reportedly hallucinating Friday that he lived in a compassionate society. According to sources, the 44-year-old former sales manager, in the throes of heatstroke, mistook a gust of wind created by a passing police car for the breeze of a bedside fan in a free, safe community-funded shelter, and falsely attributed his nausea and loss of appetite to the fact that he had just enjoyed a large, nutritious meal provided to him by a society that believed freedom from hunger was a human right. Eyewitnesses described Lane as “absolutely delirious” and “clearly out of touch with reality,” noting that they had heard him incoherently mumbling “Thank you” and slurring delusions such as “People are good.” At press time, reports confirmed that pedestrians were stepping over the dead man’s body. Read More...