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The Bigger the Engagement Ring, the Louder it Tells Men to Piss Off

Women have confessed that the real reason they demand large diamond engagement rings is not because of their love for sparkly things, but because they want to send a clear message to men: "Piss off."

According to sources, the bigger the ring, the louder the message. "It's like a neon sign on our finger, screaming 'Back off, buddy!'" said one woman. "We're not just showing off our love, we're showing off our independence and our ability to tell men to take a hike."

But what about the men who think they're getting a good deal by buying a smaller ring? Think again, guys. "A small ring is like a whisper in our ear, saying 'You're not worth much,'" said another woman. "We want to be loud and clear: we deserve better, and we deserve bigger."

In a bizarre twist, some men have started to take offense to the message, claiming that it's "emasculating" and "degrading." But women are having none of it. "If you can't handle a little bit of sass, then maybe you shouldn't be getting married," said one woman.

As the trend continues to grow, jewelers are cashing in on the phenomenon. "We're selling more diamond rings than ever before," said one jeweler. "And it's not just because of the romance – it's because women want to make a statement."

So the next time you see a woman flashing a giant diamond ring, don't be fooled. She's not just showing off her love – she's telling men to take a hike. And if you're a man who can't handle that, then maybe you shouldn't be getting married.

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