The Importance of Being Single
Being happily single is the bedrock of choosing a suitable companion.
One of the most important preconditions of a good relationship is a satisfactory perspective on being single. The more we are happy to be on our own the more we will be able to exercise the correct degree of caution around finding a new companion. The bedrock of true love is happy singledom.
Unfortunately, our society does very little to help us be calm or at ease in our own company. Singledom is framed as an involuntary, depressing, and always hopefully temporary state. The notion that someone might want or need to be on their own perhaps for a long while terrifies a world shaped by legions of silently miserable couples who need confirmation that they have not chosen the wrong path. To enforce the idea of what single people are missing advertisers can never have enough of showing off tantalizing images of happy couples walking hand in hand on beaches – and most attainment venues, holiday destinations, and social occasions feel compelled to patronize, overcharge, and otherwise demean anyone who has the impudence to venture out on their own.
Unfortunately, being miserable while single fatally undermines our judgment about who we might get together with. When someone is starving they will eat anything (Dostoevsky wrote a harrowing short story about a famished child who eats a candle made of pig fat); and we’re equally liable, in emotional desperation, to run into the nearest nightclub to secure a chump will be appalled to find beside us at daybreak. Read More…