The parent's guide to giving up and just bribing your bastard kids
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Loading... - Contreras David
- 15 May 2023
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As a parent, you may have had the belief that your children would comply with your requests without the need for incentives. However, in reality, this is often not the case. It's natural to occasionally try alternative parenting methods, but when it comes to getting your teenager to dress appropriately for their cousin's wedding, you may find that promising them AirPods is the only way to get them to cooperate. When you inevitably see them posing for family photos in ripped jeans and a Call of Duty t-shirt, you'll understand the truth.
You may try to convince yourself that bribery is a last resort, muttering something like "Carrots are healthy" before adding, "and if you eat them all you can have some ice cream." Unfortunately, this tactic may not always be effective. Your children may refuse to eat the vegetables and demand the ice cream instead, leaving you with few options.
Perhaps you attempt to rationalize your bribery by telling yourself that it's normal and that other parents resort to similar methods. Although some children seem capable of eating a single sprig of broccoli without a reward, you never know what goes on behind closed doors. So, you cling to the hope that unashamed bribery is a common occurrence.
You may even convince yourself that your bribery is a survival skill that will benefit your children in the future. By agreeing that they can eat a whole tube of Smarties if they take a bath, you're teaching them valuable bartering skills. You believe that these skills will come in handy when they're struggling to find food in a post-climate catastrophe world.
Finally, you may conclude that your efforts are futile. In the age of social media, it seems that no matter how hard you try, your children are destined to be messed up. Promising them they can play Playstation until midnight if they finish their maths homework seems like a small price to pay when you consider the grand scheme of things.
In conclusion, as a parent, you may resort to bribery to get your children to cooperate. Whether you view this as a last resort, a normal occurrence, a survival skill, or a futile effort, the truth is that every parent has their own methods for getting their children to listen.
