Why You Should Never Throw Anything Away
Are you tired of living in a clean and clutter-free home? Do you dream of having piles of useless junk scattered throughout your living space? Look no further! Hoarding is the lifestyle for you.
Benefits of Being a Hoarder
1. Never worry about buying something again: With a house full of junk, you'll never need to buy anything new again. Just dig through the piles and you'll find that old toaster you needed. Probably.
2. Create a fun and exciting obstacle course: Turn your home into a challenging obstacle course by stacking boxes and furniture in creative ways. Your friends and family will love navigating through the maze.
3. Attract new and interesting pests: Who needs a boring old pest-free home when you can have a house full of mice, cockroaches, and other exciting critters?
4. Develop your problem-solving skills: When the fire department shows up at your doorstep because your neighbors reported a "hazardous situation," you'll have the opportunity to think creatively about how to get rid of all that "stuff."
5. Become a master of the art of procrastination: Why clean and organize when you can spend hours searching for that one thing you need? It's like a treasure hunt, but without the treasure.
Conclusion
So, if you're ready to join the ranks of the proudly cluttered, then hoarding is the lifestyle for you. Just remember, you can never have too much stuff. Unless the fire department says you do. Or your landlord. Or your significant other. But what do they know? They're just jealous of your impressive collection of old pizza boxes.
