You’re Probably Cheating,’ Says Man Probably Projecting
In a stunning display of self-awareness—or perhaps a lack thereof—local man Thompson, confidently declared to his girlfriend, “You’re probably cheating,” during a recent dinner date. Witnesses report that Thompson’s assertion came after a lengthy discussion about their relationship, which he had initiated after noticing her scrolling through her phone a bit too intently.
Thompson, who has been in a committed relationship with his girlfriend, Sarah, for over two years, seemed unfazed by the irony of his accusation. Friends close to the couple have noted that Thompson has a history of questionable behavior, including frequent late-night “work meetings” and an inexplicable increase in his gym visits, which he claims are for “personal health.”
“I just felt like something was off,” Thompson explained, as he absentmindedly adjusted his hair in the reflection of a nearby window. “She’s been acting different lately. I mean, she’s been really into her phone, and I just know that’s a sign. It’s like, if I were her, I’d definitely be cheating.”
Sources close to the couple have confirmed that Sarah has been preoccupied with work and planning a surprise birthday party for Thompson, which may explain her recent phone usage. However, Thompson’s keen intuition seems to have led him down a different path of logic.
“Honestly, I was just trying to enjoy my pasta,” Sarah said, visibly frustrated. “I was looking at my phone because I was trying to coordinate with my friends about Jake’s surprise party. But apparently, that means I’m cheating now?”
Thompson’s friends have expressed concern over his behavior, suggesting that his accusations may stem from his own insecurities. “It’s classic projection,” said Mark, a mutual friend. “Jake has always been the type to deflect his own issues onto others. It’s like he’s trying to convince himself that he’s the good guy in this scenario.”
In a further twist, Thompson reportedly spent the next hour trying to justify his claims, citing various conspiracy theories about infidelity that he had read online. “I mean, have you seen those TikToks? They say that if your partner is suddenly more secretive, they’re probably cheating,” he insisted, oblivious to the fact that he had been the one acting secretively.
As the evening progressed, Sarah attempted to reassure Thompson of her loyalty, but he remained unconvinced. “I just can’t shake the feeling,” he said, staring into his half-eaten plate of spaghetti. “It’s like, if I were in her shoes, I’d be out there living my best life, you know?”
In a final attempt to salvage the evening, Sarah suggested they talk to a relationship counselor. Thompson, however, dismissed the idea, claiming, “Counselors are just going to tell you what you want to hear. I know what I know.”
As the couple left the restaurant, Thompson continued to voice his suspicions, while Sarah rolled her eyes and muttered something about needing to find a new boyfriend who could at least trust her.
In the end, it seems that Thompson’s projection may have done more harm than good, leaving both parties questioning the foundation of their relationship. As for Sarah, she’s reportedly considering a solo trip to the spa—one where she can enjoy some peace and quiet away from the unfounded accusations of her “probably projecting” boyfriend.
In a world where trust is paramount, perhaps it’s time for Thompson to take a long, hard look in the mirror—or at least put down the conspiracy theories and pick up a book on healthy communication. After all, the only thing more damaging than cheating is the unfounded suspicion that can tear a relationship apart from the inside.