6 Tips For A Healthy Relationship
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Loading... - Elsie Fisher
- 30 Dec 2021
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That person was probably the first thing you thought of when you woke and your last thought when falling asleep. Every time they entered your mind, you felt like your whole body was humming with so many emotions that it was hard to contain your excitement. Ahh, that feeling was so good. Being in love is definitely one of the best feelings on the planet. And yet being in a relationship can also be one of the most difficult things to navigate in life.
The last 18 months, in particular, have tested relationships like never before. Many couples have struggled to keep the spark alive as everyday life, with its familiar distractions, has been challenged. The regular social gatherings, travel, and parties have been suspended, forcing couples to re-adjust and re-evaluate what’s important and how to spend their time. But even though it’s been tough, the pandemic has also been an opportunity for couples to strengthen their relationship and deepen the connection they share.
We’d all love those falling in love feelings to last forever, but actually, they can be replaced with something greater, more profound and fulfilling. Even in challenging times, it’s possible to enhance our relationships. Bringing awareness to how we connect and the choices we make when investing in each other is the key to deepening our bonds and having them stand the test of time.
Here, we explore some key strategies to make sure our relationships stay strong.
1. MAKE "ME" TIME A PRIORITY
This is probably the most important thing to wrap your head around. What does “me” time have to do with enriching “us” time, you ask? Well, to nurture your relationship with another person, you first need to connect with yourself. That means self love. This goes further than spa days (although those are lovely!). It’s about spending quality time alone every day and doing something you love, maybe reading a book, taking a bath, spending time in nature, meditating, journaling, etc. Make a list of all the nourishing things you love to do and then make a conscious decision to choose time for you every day. Write it in your calendar. By taking this time, you’ll not only fill your own cup, but you will also have more resources—energy and patience—for your partner and their needs. Having a morning and/or evening routine is often successful, especially if you have kids. It will ensure that you’ve chosen time for yourself either before the distractions of the day get in the way or after the kids have gone to bed and your house quiets down.
Another important and effective way to have regular personal time is to let your partner know in advance that you need 30 to 60 minutes for yourself on occasion. This gives your partner the opportunity to support you, while also knowing they have the option to have their own “me” time, since it’s something we all need. Sharing your goals will also keep the air clear and avoid any miscommunication between you.
Making time for yourself is one of the healthiest ways you can maintain your relationship, however contradictory it may seem. Work to make “me” time a habitual practice in your life.
2. ESTABLISH ACTIVE LISTENING TIME
Active listening means both you and your partner are present for each other with no distractions. Schedule time in your day to do this. It can look like a morning coffee date together, an evening walk after dinner or a chat before bed. The key here is that there are absolutely no technological distractions. Phones are down, eye contact is up, and you both allow yourself to listen and to be heard. This is the best gift you can give and receive. As humans, we need to feel heard and we can only do this through active listening. Model this behaviour for your partner and don’t hesitate to set some ground rules as to how this works.
Ground rules for active listening:
· Carve out a time of day that works for you both.
· Be consistent.
· Remove technology and distractions.
· Make eye contact, and hold hands during a walk.
· Allow your partner to finish their thoughts; do not interrupt.
· Paraphrase your partner’s thoughts back to them so your partner knows you’ve heard them.
· Ask heartfelt questions, such as those regarding values, hopes and dreams; make this talk about more than just the groceries or what's for dinner (more on this later).
3. NURTURE THE FRIENDSHIP
Being friends with your partner should be a priority in order to make it through challenging times. It’s important not only to love the person you’re with but to like them, too.
One of the most critical things to remember is that we’re all individual, and that’s a good thing. Your partner might have different interests than you, and that’s OK. One way you can reinforce the friends part of your partnership is by having each of you pick an activity you love and then doing it together, maybe on a date night. For instance, you could try water sports, a new craft or a game of pool, cards or darts. It doesn’t matter what it is; the significant thing is that both of you have the opportunity to choose and both of you agree to engage. You're each doing something the other one loves, and you're doing it together. Read More…
