7 Unsexy Lessons I've Learned After 22 Years Of Marriage
I got married relatively young (I was 24, she was 22), without really knowing my wife that well in hindsight. 3 kids and 22 years later we’re still going strong.
A friend asked me over the Christmas holidays how we’ve managed to make it look so easy. It’s been anything but easy, and I was at a loss to give him any amazing nuggets of wisdom. He seemed underwhelmed that I’m not some Marriage Yoda.
You see, it feels like we’ve been winging it all along. But I’ve had some time to think about what I’ve learned. I don’t feel qualified to dish out advice to others per se, but I hope these 7 lessons I’ve learned will help you.
Here are 7 unsexy lessons I learned after 22 years of marriage:
1. You can’t be 100% sure
We didn’t know everything about one another or live together before we got married. But I knew enough.
30 minutes into our first date (at a Burger King in East Berlin for all you romance lovers out there!) if Doc Brown from Back To The Future had blasted in and told me we’d be married with 3 kids… I wouldn’t have been surprised.
I just thought she was awesome. You can’t be 100% convinced about whether a marriage will work, but your gut is a good barometer.
2. It’s a team game
- She can’t cook, I can.
- I am disorganized, she isn’t.
- I am chilled out, she worries.
- She is a planner, but I’m not.
The list goes on. You can say we’re complete opposites, or flip it and say that we make a great team, filling in each other’s gaps. We play to our strengths and we’ve done well to not force each other to be just as good at the things we excel at. It works. Read More…