9 Signs Of Low Self Esteem In A Relationship
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Loading... - Rhia Babre
- 28 Jun 2022
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When we talk about low self-esteem in a relationship symptoms, it is difficult not to mention the song Half a Man by Dean Lewis. The lyrics of the song go like, “I’ve been running from my demons, afraid to look behind. I’ve been running from myself, afraid of what I’d find. But how am I supposed to love you when I don’t love who I am?
And how could I give you all of me when I’m only half a man? ‘Cause I’m a sinking ship that’s burning, so let go of my hand… And no one can ever hurt me like I hurt myself. ‘Cause I’m made out of stone. And I’m beyond help, don’t give your heart to me…”
The lyrics of the song capture the exact feeling of a person showing symptoms of low self-esteem in a relationship. And how do these low self-esteem behaviors manifest in a relationship? Let’s find out, with the help of emotional wellness and mindfulness coach Pooja Priyamvada (certified in Psychological and Mental Health First Aid from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and the University of Sydney). She specializes in counseling for extramarital affairs, breakups, separation, grief and loss, to name a few.
9 Signs Of Low Self Esteem In A Relationship
What is the meaning of self-esteem? It’s the perception that you have of yourself. What are the personal opinions that you hold of yourself? How do you view yourself? How do you feel about yourself? What is your relationship with doubt and fear? How does all this reflect in your relationship with others?
What are low self-esteem in a relationship symptoms? According to Pooja, “Some of the examples of low self-esteem behaviors in a relationship are being clingy toward your partner, thinking they are too good for you, thinking they have done or are doing a favor by loving you, being over-possessive about them, huge fear of losing your partner etc.”
Do you innately feel that you deserve to be respected and treated well? Do you shy away from showing your real self in your relationships out of the fear that your partner will run away and abandon you if they get to know you? In other words, do you have subtle abandonment issues in relationships? What are low self-esteem in a relationship symptoms? Let’s find out.
1. Taking everything too personally
What is it like dating someone with low self-esteem? Pooja answers, “They take everything too personally, they are scared of criticism and hence, human interaction. They are mostly introverts and they never want to take any major decisions.”
So, signs of low self-esteem in a woman could be getting triggered by something said by their partner that wasn’t even directed at them. Similarly, avoiding social situations out of the fear of being judged/criticized could be one of the signs of low self-esteem in a man.
2. Low self-esteem in a relationship symptoms? Apologizing too much
My friend Paul apologizes to his girlfriend even when it’s not his fault. Some situations are beyond his control but he still apologizes for them. He keeps saying sorry to avoid conflict, even when he doesn’t agree with his girlfriend. These are symptoms of low self-esteem in a relationship.
Over-apologizing is a result of low confidence. Let’s consider a case, wherein you have been speaking about your feelings for too long and your partner has been listening patiently. In such a situation, don’t say, “I am so sorry, I have been rambling for a long time.” Just say, “I am grateful to you for being such a good listener. I appreciate your patience. Thank you for holding space.” This is how you can work on your low self-esteem in a relationship symptoms.
3. Thinking you are not worthy of your partner
Do you spiral into loops like, “I don’t deserve my partner and they are too good for me. I must have gotten lucky. How could an amazing person like them fall for me? Am I showcasing symptoms of low self-esteem in a relationship?” All these are signs self-hatred is ruining your relationship.
About this, Pooja says, “These are classic symptoms of imposter syndrome where people have abandonment and unhealthy attachment issues. Overrating their partner and fear of losing them drives this kind of a person. This is one of the symptoms of low self-esteem in a relationship.”
4. Self-doubt
If she over-analyzes everything and is highly critical of herself, it could be the signs of low self-esteem in a woman. Or if he is always burdened by feelings of inadequacy, this could be one of the signs of low self-esteem in a man.
The character Pacey Witter from Dawson’s Creek is the epitome of low self-esteem in a relationship symptoms. He is an academic underachiever who uses humor and sarcasm to be relatable to people as well as to mask his emotional pain that has roots in his very unhappy childhood.
There is a scene in which Pacey asks Andie, “Why do you like me? I’m a screw-up, Andie. I’m thoughtless. I’m insecure. And for the life of me, I cannot understand why a woman like you would bother to care about me.” This scene is the perfect example of dating someone with low self-esteem. Read More…
