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A Simple Hack to Quickly Turn Your Relationship Around

Do you need a simple hack to quickly turn your relationship around?  Are things going south in your marriage right now?  Are you feeling stuck, sad and disappointed in your partner? Perhaps your love life is stale and boring. Or distant and angry.  Or cold and sexless.

Have you been thinking about leaving altogether? But you really can’t face the idea of breaking up, being all alone, or disturbing your family life.

Well, there is a simple hack to quickly turn your relationship around!  As the great psychologist, William James said:

“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

The Power of Appreciation

So the simple hack to quickly turn your relationship around is the use of the most powerful strategy in relationships–Appreciation!  In the practice of appreciation, the partner’s flaws are not the focus. Instead of grimacing about her husband’s workaholic ways and being grumpy about his paunch, a happy wife sees a man who is providing beautifully— in other words, a winner. Instead of zoning in on his wife’s moodiness and complaining about her not wanting enough sex, a happy husband sees a warm, funny minx that lights up his life.

In fact, this simple hack to quickly turn your relationship around is based on how healthy partners act.  They consider each other through a glass half-full perspective rather than a half-empty one. In other words, they tend to appreciate each other’s positives rather than their negatives.

But What About Me?

So I know that right now you are NOT feeling too happy with your partner.  Yet, whether you like it or not, research shows that gratitude is the royal road to happiness. Studies have shown that healthy couples practice appreciation, which leads to gratefulness. Because they’re focused on blessings, they enjoy their lives together much more than those who focus on what’s wrong.  To use this simple hack to quickly turn your relationship around: Understand that when you are busy counting your misfortunes, it is next to impossible to make yourself or your partner happy.

I know, I know, YOU need to be appreciated, cherished, and loved up. You may be dealing with a partner who is clueless, mean, distant, or perhaps even acting like an a-hole right now. (Note: If you are dealing with physical abuse, or a violent partner, safety is your main concern. Please consult a trained professional, such as a therapist or counselor who specializes in abuse to help you ASAP.)

I know that you may feel resentful, rejected, lonely, disappointed, abandoned, or emotionally abused. You are TOTALLY RIGHT in feeling upset. I have definitely been there many times myself. So when you go in to find something to appreciate about your partner, it may be very difficult to see anything that is positive right now. I get it. Read More…

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