Committed & Unattached: A Powerful Way to Work
One can be too loose, the other too tight. So how do we work with this?
I’ve been diving deep into working with full commitment lately, in my personal transformative work and working with my clients. It’s fascinating work.
The biggest stumbling point for people is the dichotomy between:
- Being detached from the goal, which can ironically make it more likely to achieve the goal. For many people though, this detachment can often mean you aren’t moving as strongly towards the goal, because you don’t care as much. It often shows up like getting up in the morning and putting the goal aside.
- Being fully committed to the goal, which can mean you work super hard on the goal … but if it’s clear you’re not going to hit the target, for many people this brings about a huge amount of disappointment. This brings about a feeling of pointlessness that we use to let ourselves off the hook and quit.
As you can see, each side of the dichotomy between detachment and commitment has a set of problems. One can be too loose, the other too tight. So how do we work with this?
The middle way is something I think of as Committed & Unattached:
- Committed: You are fully committed to the goal. You work at it as if it were one of the most important things in the world. You give it your all (within the bounds of self-care, of course). You focus, you go after it. You care deeply.
- Unattached: But while you’re committed to making it happen, you are unattached to the outcome. You care about the outcome but you’re OK if it doesn’t happen. You love life and yourself no matter what happens. Read More…