Female CEOs Share What It Took To Get To The Top
-
Loading... - Mia Graham
- 09 Mar 2023
- 56 Views
- 0 Like
- 0 Comment
On this International Women’s Day, The Onion devotes its sterling reportage to championing women—a small but influential sliver of the nation’s population—in an endeavor to prevent them from vanishing from the public consciousness entirely.
Gina Boswell, Bath And Body Works
“The lotion, in its immense wisdom, chose me.”
Rosalind Brewer, Walgreens
“Just tossed the bloodied head of my predecessor onto the table in front of the terrified board members.”
Oprah Winfrey, OWN
“I spake the forbidden words into The Void. The Void shrieked back at me, shaking by body to the very core of where a soul once would’ve been. The sacrifice was made. ‘Do you accept the terrible destruction that shall be wrought upon this Earth?’ asked The Void, its voice emanating from nowhere and everywhere. ‘I do,’ said I.”
Michele Buck, Hershey
“Wait, I’m CEO? Since 2017?! Shit, shit, shit, I gotta make some calls…” Read More…
