How to identify and deal with gaslighting in the workplace
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Loading... - Charlotte Lawrence
- 02 May 2023
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In recent years, the term gaslighting has entered the public lexicon after this toxic behaviour became better identified and understood in personal and romantic relationships.
Less well-understood, is the fact that gaslighting is also a popular game played by bullies and narcissists in the workplace, and that this has a devastating impact on both the individual victim, as well as the culture and performance of teams and businesses, a leadership expert says.
“Very few people – if indeed any – can claim that they have never felt stressed or anxious as a result of challenging workplace relationships. Most working professionals have to manage complex relationships on the daily - perhaps with a colleague who is a jerk, with difficult clients or a boss that falls short in the compassionate leadership department,” says Debbie Goodman, bestselling author and CEO at Jack Hammer Global, Africa’s largest executive search firm.
“These are normal challenges that come with the territory. However gaslighting is a uniquely damaging attack on an individual, and few people are able to correctly identify whether they are a victim of gaslighting, and even less able to deal decisively with this behaviour,” she says.
Goodman says gaslighting is hard to identify and pinpoint, because it is usually quite covert and, by its nature, intended to confuse and make the victim question their sanity.
“An abusive boss or co-worker who shouts, bullies and throws their toys is easy to spot, but gaslighting is more calculated and subtle, less overt and flies under the radar. It’s sneaky, sometimes hard to prove, and to make the situation much harder, the manipulative behaviour very often doesn’t break any policies or rules.”
It’s important for those facing severe toxicity at work to determine whether they are indeed a victim of gaslighting, says Goodman, as the consequences can be severe and life-changing if not identified and dealt with.
“Gaslighting can make you physically ill, with research showing higher risk of cardiovascular disease, stroke and diabetes linked to victims. It can also leave lasting emotional scars and make you more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. Similar to PTSD, dealing with the fallout from gaslighting can take years to resolve, as the impact doesn’t just stay at work, but spills over into the rest of your life.”
Some key indicators of gaslighting include the following:
Gaslighters seek to manipulate and control you, by making you question your reality. You may feel confused or unsure of yourself, and doubt your own abilities, judgment, and memory. Gaslighting can make you feel like you are losing your mind, or like you are the only one who sees the truth. Read More…
