How to make love: 5 difficult sex conversations couples should have
Couples who discuss tricky topics, like what's going down in the bedroom, are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who ignore difficult subjects.
Not talking about your sexual needs with your partner can only create a self-perpetuating cycle of rejection and unhappiness. It may take courage to bring up these difficult discussions, but after you get through the initial awkwardness, it could be a game-changing experience for your intimacy.
Before you get beneath the sheets (and maybe even after), experts say you should have these sex conversations with your partner.
While it can be awkward, these difficult sex conversations are must-haves for any couple in a relationship:
- Consent
Even in a committed, loving relationship, you should talk about your consent styles. Ensuring you and your partner are completely in sync on sexual activity creates trust and safety
Ask your partners if they need consistent consent or consensual non-consent.
Consistent consent is where you need to constantly ask your lover about where you touch them or vice versa. Consensual non-consent is where you have permitted your lover to do what they want and you have the voice to say ‘no’ if there's something that you don't enjoy that they're doing.
- Initiation
Not everyone thinks to initiate sex. If one person is the only one initiating, it can become a point of resentment. Not to mention, potentially be a blow to the other person’s confidence. The initiating person can start to get reluctant or may even stop initiating sex if he or she gets rejected enough times.
To prevent or deal with these kinds of issues, it is in the couple's best interest to have a loving and candid conversation about each partner's thoughts and feelings about this and come up with a mutually acceptable plan. Read More…