The 7 Tactics Narcissists Use to Sabotage Breakups
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Loading... - Elettra Barone
- 25 Mar 2025
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Breaking up with a narcissist can be an incredibly challenging experience. Their manipulative behaviors often make it difficult for their partners to move on. Here are seven common tactics narcissists use to sabotage breakups and maintain control over their former partners.
1. Gaslighting
Narcissists often employ gaslighting to distort reality and make their partners doubt their perceptions and feelings. They may deny past events, twist the truth, or blame their partner for problems in the relationship. This tactic can leave the partner feeling confused and questioning their own sanity, making it harder to finalize the breakup.
2. Love Bombing
After a breakup, a narcissist may attempt to win their partner back through love bombing—overwhelming them with affection, compliments, and promises of change. This sudden shift can create emotional turmoil, leading the partner to reconsider their decision to leave, even if the underlying issues remain unresolved.
3. Playing the Victim
Narcissists often portray themselves as the victim in the relationship, shifting blame onto their partner. They may express deep sadness or distress over the breakup, eliciting sympathy and guilt from their ex. This tactic can manipulate the partner into feeling responsible for the narcissist's emotional state, making it difficult to move on.
4. Threats and Ultimatums
In an effort to regain control, a narcissist may resort to threats or ultimatums. They might threaten self-harm, legal action, or other drastic measures to instill fear in their partner. This intimidation can create a sense of obligation to stay or reconsider the breakup, as the partner may feel responsible for the narcissist's well-being.
5. Triangulation
Narcissists may involve third parties—friends, family, or new romantic interests—to create drama and confusion. By spreading rumors or manipulating others' perceptions, they can undermine their partner's support system and create a sense of isolation. This tactic can make it harder for the partner to feel empowered to move on.
6. Silent Treatment
The silent treatment is a common tactic used by narcissists to punish their partners and regain control. By withdrawing communication and affection, they create emotional distress and uncertainty. This tactic can lead the partner to feel anxious and desperate for reconciliation, complicating the breakup process.
7. Revisiting Old Issues
Narcissists may bring up past grievances or unresolved issues during or after a breakup to create confusion and emotional turmoil. By revisiting old arguments or highlighting perceived faults, they can distract their partner from the reasons for the breakup, making it harder for them to move forward.
Understanding these tactics can empower individuals to recognize and navigate the challenges of breaking up with a narcissist. Establishing firm boundaries, seeking support from friends and family, and prioritizing self-care are essential steps in reclaiming one’s autonomy and healing after such a tumultuous relationship. Remember, it’s crucial to stay focused on your well-being and the reasons for your decision to break free.
