Traits of Your Ex's New Partner Only You Can See Are Evil
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Loading... - Gregor Berger
- 23 Jul 2024
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Waltzing into my ex's life, thinking you can just swoop in and take over. Well, guess what, pal - I've got my eye on you, and I can see right through your sweet, innocent façade. You may have everyone else fooled, but I know the truth. I see the darkness lurking beneath the surface, the sinister intentions that only I can detect.
Let me enlighten you about the seven traits of your new partner that scream "evil incarnate" to my highly trained, ex-girlfriend senses.
1. Impeccable Manners
Sure, they may seem polite and charming on the surface, but I know better. Those impeccable table manners, the way they hold the door open, the sincere "thank yous" and "please and sorrys" - it's all a calculated ruse to win over the unsuspecting masses. Wake up, people! It's a facade, a clever disguise to hide their true, nefarious intentions.
2. Generosity and Kindness
Ugh, the way they're always volunteering, donating to charity, and going out of their way to help others - it's sickening. No one is that selfless and altruistic without some ulterior motive, am I right? They're probably just trying to amass an army of loyal followers to do their bidding. Mark my words, this "kindness" is merely a ploy to lull us all into a false sense of security.
3. Impeccable Hygiene
Have you noticed how they're always meticulously groomed, with not a hair out of place? The way they smell like a bouquet of freshly picked flowers, their teeth gleaming like they're straight out of a toothpaste commercial? It's all a ruse, I tell you! They're clearly hiding something sinister beneath that pristine exterior. Maybe they're a serial killer who likes to keep their victims' DNA off their person. Just a thought.
4. Intellectual Curiosity
They're always reading, asking thought-provoking questions, and engaging in stimulating conversations. Ugh, it's sickening. Nobody is that genuinely interested in the world around them without some nefarious agenda. They're probably just trying to amass knowledge to use against us all in their quest for world domination. Or maybe they're a spy, gathering intel to sell to the highest bidder. The possibilities are endless, and they all spell "evil."
5. Compatibility with Your Ex
The way they just seem to "get" your ex, understanding their quirks and idiosyncrasies, is downright suspicious. How dare they connect with your ex on a deep, emotional level? That's your thing! They're clearly using some sort of mind control or hypnosis to brainwash your ex into thinking they're the perfect partner. It's the only logical explanation.
6. Unwavering Patience
Have you noticed how they never seem to lose their cool, even when your ex is being, well, your ex? The way they calmly and patiently deal with your ex's mood swings and eccentricities is just unnatural. They're clearly a robot or a cyborg, programmed to withstand any and all human foibles. Or maybe they're a vampire, feeding off the negative energy and using it to fuel their own sinister agenda.
7. Genuine Affection
The way they look at your ex, with that sickeningly adoring gaze, makes me want to vomit. How dare they feel genuine, unadulterated affection for your ex? That's your job! They're obviously just putting on a show, manipulating your ex's emotions for their own nefarious purposes. Maybe they're a succubus, luring your ex in with their irresistible charms, only to steal their soul. Or perhaps they're a witch, using dark magic to cast a love spell. The possibilities are endless, and they all spell "evil."
There you have it, folks - the seven telltale signs that your ex's new partner is secretly evil, according to my highly trained, ex-girlfriend senses. From their impeccable manners to their unwavering patience, everything about them screams "sinister ulterior motive."
But don't worry, I'm on the case. I'll be keeping a close eye on this so-called "perfect partner," ready to expose their true, evil nature at the first sign of trouble. After all, someone has to protect your ex from the darkness that lurks beneath that charming exterior. And that someone is me, the world's most observant and totally unbiased ex-girlfriend.
