Well It Wouldn't Be “Self†Medicating if You Grew a Pair and Prescribed Me Whiskey
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Loading... - Felix Ansong
- 17 Aug 2022
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People call whiskey a crutch, but through the good times, the bad times, and the boring times, it’s more of a companion. So when this psychiatrist started throwing around hip new buzzwords like “self-medicating“, I was like, “Okay buddy, maybe I’ll stop doing your job for you if you grow some stones and write me a whiskey ‘scrip!”
Whatever your poison, these shrinks are all just pissed off that we can cope without them. At first, I was flattered that he thought of me as a medical professional, self-administering shots of Jack, but soon his tone of judgment and disapproval became clear.
Oh, so the drug I chose is bad, but you just so happen to have the magic pill?! Sounds a little infomercial-y to me.
How can you have a problem with whiskey when I wouldn’t have been able to bring up these so-called “issues” in our sessions without it?
Sometimes I’m not even “self” medicating at all. One time, at this Tiger Tits show, the singer shot whiskey into my mouth with a super soaker. More got in my eyes than in my mouth, but still, Dr. Tiger Tits knew what I needed. Sometimes a bartender starts pouring that shit straight into my mouth. Relax you COVID nuts, I don’t suck from it like a calf anymore… I open-throat it like a baby bird!
Sure, like any great medication whisky has negative side effects. Side effects that I believe would be far less severe if this quack stopped forcing do down Jack Daniels every god damned day a prescribed me clean, medical grade whisky, produced in a proper lab. Read More...
