What I Learned From My 3 Deepest Romantic Connections
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Loading... - Jung-sook Gyoh
- 19 Apr 2023
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I've had three great loves over many decades - and each one taught me a lifetime of lessons.
I never appreciated how much I could learn from my failures. None of the insights from expensive, time-consuming therapy, discomfort, pain or suffering provided actionable answers. Instead, I made progress when I was honest with myself about my choices with three major failed romances. Then, I eventually saw the patterns and underlying ambivalent motivation I had, instead of blaming the seemingly disparate guys.
The power — and empowerment — of romantic experience
The great advantage of such personal insight was that my efforts resulted in making freer, more informed choices for myself. In contrast, trying to find external explanations takes time and power away — just as looking for sources of happiness and success outside oneself distracts from authentic choices.
This focus on personal insight is not meant to shift the blame to oneself. Better, it avoids the lost time and illusions of trying to change others’ behavior or find a perfect match. Both could be endless or impossible; people, situations and their interactions are dynamic. Looking within also saves wasted energy on detours, mistakes and unrealistic hopes. Given an open mind and curiosity, finding the blocking themes, in retrospect especially, is not so hard. Timing and readiness also contribute to well-chosen outcomes. Read More…
