Why You Should Never, Ever Learn to Cook
Ah, cooking. The bane of modern existence. Why bother with the hassle of chopping, sautéing, and seasoning when you can just order takeout and live off of pizza and wings? In this article, we'll explore the many reasons why learning to cook is a complete waste of time.
It's a Total Time-Suck
Let's face it, cooking takes forever. From meal planning to grocery shopping to actual cooking, it's a never-ending cycle of drudgery. And for what? So you can eat a mediocre meal that you could've just as easily ordered from GrubHub? No thanks.
It's a Health Hazard
Have you ever seen the state of a kitchen after a cooking session? It's like a war zone. Pots and pans everywhere, utensils scattered all over the counter, and don't even get me started on the state of the sink. It's a breeding ground for bacteria and germs. And what's the point of cooking a healthy meal if you're just going to get sick from the kitchen itself?
It's a Total Waste of Money
Think about it. When you cook, you have to buy ingredients, which can add up quickly. And then there's the cost of cooking utensils, pots and pans, and appliances. And let's not forget the cost of cleaning supplies to clean up the mess you made. It's a never-ending money pit. And for what? So you can eat a meal that you could've just as easily bought at a restaurant?
It's a Social Killer
When you cook, you're stuck in the kitchen, slaving away over a hot stove while your friends are out having fun. And what's the point of cooking a meal if you're just going to eat it alone? It's a total social killer. And don't even get me started on the awkwardness of eating with others. Who needs that kind of stress in their life?
It's a Total Lack of Creativity
Let's face it, cooking is just following a recipe. Where's the creativity in that? You're not creating anything new or original, you're just regurgitating someone else's idea. And what's the point of cooking if you're not going to win a culinary award or get featured on the cover of a cookbook?
It's a Total Hassle
Cooking is just a hassle. From meal planning to grocery shopping to cooking to cleaning up, it's a never-ending cycle of drudgery. And what's the point of cooking if you're just going to have to do it all again the next day? It's a total Groundhog Day situation.
In conclusion, learning to cook is a complete waste of time. It's a time-suck, a health hazard, a waste of money, a social killer, a lack of creativity, and a total hassle. So, do yourself a favor and just order takeout. Your taste buds (and your sanity) will thank you.