15 lies Disney told us growing up
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Loading... - Cristian Castillo
- 30 Jun 2020
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There is no doubt that everyone loved Disney as kids, and even now it’s still a solid go to movie choice.
But we can’t help but feel slightly mugged off when we realise the many and varied ways Disney ‘shielded us from the truth’.
Here’s 15 lies Disney told us growing up.
1. Kissing is magical
Ah, kisses at the end of the movie were always perfect and politely done.
Your first kiss didn’t happen on a fancy boat, or a magic carpet, but probs at some sort of disco taking place in the school hall. No magic, just a lot of sloppiness.
2. Men and shoes
Guys that fancy you apparently notice your shoes.
Taking inspiration from this, you wore your snazziest jelly shoes to school, but sadly your crush was more concerned about his new football boots to notice. Sob.
3. You can fall in love on the dance floor
Not only was finding your one true love a doddle, but majority of falling in love occurred on the dance floor.
The closest you’ve come to this is finding someone who will be your partner in a rendition of the Tragedy dance moves.
4. Balloons lift stuff
Yep, totes not happening.
No matter how many of the finest balloons Clinton’s had to offer you used, there was no way you were being lifted up.
But you still tried, obvs.
5. Medicine + sugar
A spoonful of sugar never helped your medicine go down, and it still made your eyes water in pain.
Mary Poppins is a liar.
6. British people are posh
According to Disney, we’re a bunch of super posh folk that sit around being proper and drinking tea.
Yes, the tea thing may have been correct, but you were always confused why you weren’t as posh as Disney assumed.
Plenty of tea, but no pocket watches in sight (Picture: Metro)
7. Getting ready is easy
With a wave of a magic wand or with the help of some animals you could become mega glam within seconds.
You still have some sort of mini crisis before every single night out, and would gladly trade your nan in for a Fairy Godmother.
8. Toys are real
After Toy Story you convinced yourself that your toys were real, and you would spend hours trying to convince them to reveal their true selves to you.
It never happened, and toys aren’t real. If they were, then all of those lost Polly Pockets would have found their way back to you.
9. Chores = fun
Cinders and Snow White had us believing that it wasn’t all that bad having to scrub floors and wash dishes.
In reality it was horrific and you tried to tell your mum it was borderline child labour, because actually you just wanted to be left alone to play on your N64.
10. Animals are friendly
You found out the hard way that animals aren’t as friendly as Disney made out, when you got a bit too close to a skunk on family trip to the countryside thinking it would be as friendly as Flower from Bambi. Whoops.
11. Guys = automatic muscles
All guys lift and have the perfect muscle ratio.
In reality you were too busy lifting Findus crispy pancakes. Into your mouth. Yummy.
12. Girls = perfect appearance
Firstly LOL.
You were a bit confused why despite following all of the hair tutorials in Mizz/ Sugar/ Bliss magazine your hair was never on point as Ariel’s – and she lived UNDER the sea.
13. You may have a long lost twin
Any time you had a fight with your best mate/ siblings you would sulk in your bedroom and think about the possibility that you too may have a long lost twin that would become your new BFF.
14. Step-parents are evil
Disney had a thing to portray all step-parents as evil and out to get you.
Yours were quite lovely, thank you very much.
15. It’s better under the sea
It was after the first time you got salt water in your mouth, or your first jellyfish sting that you realised it was in fact way better on land.
