Big Mistakes People Make When Their Relationship Gets Hard
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Loading... - Heather Carter
- 02 Aug 2024
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Let's face it - no relationship is perfect. Even the strongest, most loving partnerships will hit rough patches from time to time. When the going gets tough, it can be all too easy to make decisions that end up doing more harm than good. In this article, we'll explore some of the biggest mistakes people make when their relationship gets hard, and provide tips on how to navigate those challenges in a healthy, productive way.
Avoiding Conflict
It may seem counterintuitive, but one of the biggest mistakes couples make is avoiding conflict altogether. They think that if they just ignore the problems, they'll eventually go away. In reality, unresolved issues only fester and grow worse over time. Sweeping things under the rug prevents you from getting to the root of the problem and finding a solution.
Instead of avoiding conflict, it's important to have open and honest conversations with your partner. This doesn't mean yelling or hurling insults - it means expressing your feelings and concerns in a calm, constructive manner, and being willing to listen to your partner's perspective as well. Approach these discussions with empathy and a genuine desire to understand and resolve the issue, not to "win" the argument.
Letting Resentment Build
When you bottle up your feelings and don't address problems head-on, resentment can start to build. Little annoyances or grievances that you let slide can snowball into much bigger issues. Before you know it, you're harboring a lot of negative emotions towards your partner, which can poison the entire relationship.
Don't let resentment fester. If something is bothering you, say something about it - tactfully and in the moment, rather than letting it stew. And be sure to also express appreciation and gratitude for the things your partner does right. Maintaining a positive, appreciative mindset can go a long way in preventing resentment from taking hold.
Bringing Up the Past
When you're in the heat of an argument, it can be tempting to dredge up past grievances as ammunition. But this is a surefire way to escalate the conflict and make the situation worse. Bringing up the past, especially things that have already been resolved, only serves to distract from the real issue at hand and derail the conversation.
Instead, stay focused on the present problem and how you can work together to find a solution. If there are unresolved issues from the past that are still causing problems, address those specifically, but avoid using them as a weapon in the current conflict. The goal should be to move forward, not get stuck in the past.
Refusing to Compromise
Relationships are all about compromise - it's rare for both partners to get everything they want all the time. When your relationship hits a rough patch, it's important to be willing to meet each other halfway and find solutions that work for both of you.
Refusing to compromise, or insisting on having your way, will only breed more conflict and resentment. Learn to be flexible, and look for creative ways to address both of your needs. Sometimes it may mean making sacrifices or trying something new - but the payoff of a stronger, more harmonious relationship is well worth it.
Letting Pride Get in the Way
Pride can be a major obstacle when it comes to resolving relationship problems. It can prevent you from admitting when you're wrong, apologizing sincerely, or being vulnerable and asking for help. But letting your ego get in the way will only prolong the conflict and make it harder to find a resolution.
Swallow your pride and be willing to take responsibility for your part in the problem. Apologize genuinely, without making excuses or expecting your partner to apologize first. And don't be afraid to ask for support, whether it's from your partner or a neutral third party like a therapist. Putting your relationship first, rather than your pride, is the key to getting through tough times.
Stonewalling or Withdrawing
When things get heated, some people have a tendency to shut down and withdraw from the situation. They may stop communicating altogether, or give their partner the silent treatment. This is known as stonewalling, and it's incredibly damaging to a relationship.
Stonewalling or withdrawing prevents any kind of resolution or progress from being made. It leaves your partner feeling isolated, confused, and hurt. Instead, make the effort to stay engaged, even if you need to take a break and revisit the conversation later. Listen to your partner's perspective, ask questions, and work together to find a solution.
Bringing in Outside Parties
It can be tempting to vent to friends or family members when your relationship is going through a rough patch. But be careful about bringing in too many outside perspectives - this can often do more harm than good.
Your loved ones may have strong opinions or biases that aren't necessarily helpful to the situation. And if they take sides, it can create even more division between you and your partner. Instead, focus on resolving the issues directly with your partner. If you need additional support, consider seeking the help of a professional counselor or therapist who can provide an objective, expert perspective.
Conclusion
Navigating the challenges of a relationship can be tough, but it's not impossible. By avoiding these common mistakes and focusing on open communication, compromise, and mutual understanding, you can weather the storms and come out stronger on the other side. Remember, every relationship is unique, so be willing to adapt and find what works best for you and your partner. With patience, empathy, and a commitment to working together, you can overcome even the toughest relationship hurdles.
