How My Perspective On Relationships Completely Changed After I Started Dating The Opposite Of My Type
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Loading... - Calix Kallis
- 29 Jun 2022
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I’d been closing my eyes to the possibilities for too long.
I went through a stage where if you placed all the men I’d dated in a room together, you’d assume they were all auditioning for the same role.
They were tall, dark, handsome alpha males that screamed that I unmistakably had a type.
Opening my Tinder confirmed this.
All my matches looked like clones of my dream guy and they all had the same bio.
And although I kept insisting to my friends I’d dated a broad array of men, I was clearly not using my brain to pick a very narrow range of Channing Tatum lookalikes and it wasn’t getting me anywhere.
Every failed relationship inevitably ended the same and I finally came to the conclusion something had to change in my approach to dating if I was ever going to get any closer to finding 'the one.'
So, I made the radical decision to start dating guys who were the opposite of my type.
I started by throwing my lengthy mental checklist out the window, changing all my dating profile settings, and vowing to give the men I’d usually pass up a meaningful chance.
The hardest characteristic for me to let go of was my potential suitor’s age.
As a self-confessed serial dater of older men, I’ve always clung to the idea that with maturity comes stability.
The second mindset I had to ditch was my love of tall men.
Sage advice from my nail artist was that everyone’s the same height lying down - not an entirely bad point.
The only checkbox I wasn’t willing to abandon was great chemistry between the sheets.
Bad sex will always be a deal-breaker for me.
But, what did happen was I discovered that only dating to a ‘type’ was limiting me from seeing all the amazing men I’d been passing up.
I also learned I couldn’t pigeonhole guys.
Not every tall, classically handsome alpha dude was bad, either.
The most difficult challenge for me in dating outside my type was the unfamiliarity that came with getting to know men I didn’t typically see myself with.
However, refreshingly, it also wasn’t like I was dating a clone of the previous guy, so it all felt very new and a little exciting.
Not every guy I dated was a catch - turns out bad matches can come in the form of any man - but when I eventually met someone organically, who was radically different from my past dates, I began to look at finding love in a whole new light.
He was younger than me, I wasn’t overly keen to get in his pants at the first meeting, and actually, he kind of annoyed me.
But I gave this guy I’d normally dismiss a chance and albeit a short romance, it was a defining relationship. Read More...
