Newlyweds bemoan pressure to have children
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Loading... - Buppha Suksai
- 30 Mar 2023
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Hong Hoa says that she and her husband were “terrorized” by their parents into having children before they were ready.
When she got married 4 years ago, the now 30-year-old Hanoian in Cau Giay District was in an "unstable" financial situation, and both she and her husband had just changed jobs.
She says they weren’t prepared for children and had already decided to wait a few years before getting pregnant because they were still young and had yet to establish a strong foundation upon which to raise a family.
But both sides of the family opposed the decision and soon the young couple found themselves pressured on all sides. Hoa, now the mother of a beautiful 3-year-old daughter, still gets upset and regretful when she recalls the first year of her marriage.
Hoa says she received calls from her father-in-law daily. Her mother-in-law joined the calls, often saying things like "you should have kids when we are still able to help you to take care of them." Her in-laws told her husband: "you’re our only son and we need to have grandchildren."
Hoa’s own parents also pressured her to get pregnant immediately, as they believed their daughter and son-in-law would turn infertile otherwise.
And if that wasn’t enough, every time Hoa and her husband visited their relatives, everyone - including nosy neighbors - would also ask "Why aren’t you pregnant yet?"
When Hoa would then try to explain that she didn’t feel ready and wanted to save more money for her family’s future, she would receive snarky, ironic responses like "Oh, so it turns out you and your husband want to be rich before becoming parents."
Hoa says she and her husband eventually caved.
Cases like Hoa’s are not rare in Vietnam and many other young women have shared similar stories with VnExpress. Read More…
