What Could You Do After They Have Been Unfaithful?
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Loading... - Hayley Baker
- 20 Mar 2023
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“Leaving the past in the past” after they have been unfaithful, is it really a myth?
So, you found out your partner was emotionally or physically involved with another person,
resulting in a breach of trust in your relationship. Despite the hurt this has left you feeling, you
have made the challenging decision to forgive your partner and move on in your relationship
together. While this was no easy decision to make, the process that has followed seems to have
been all the more difficult.
The Curious Paradox
Infidelity is often viewed as a deal breaker for many people in committed relationships and it
sure might feel that way at times. Perhaps you find yourself questioning if it would have been
easier to just leave the relationship. Just know that it is normal for you to question this and to
feel hopeless over what might feel like a never-ending endeavor to rebuild the trust in your
relationship. Also know that you are incredibly strong for making the decision to forgive your
partner and that there is hope if you deem your relationship worth fighting for.
Trust is incredibly valuable and takes time to build up. We build trust in our relationships by
showing up for our partner, putting our partner’s best interest first, and continue doing so,
even when things get difficult. The curious paradox in trust is that it takes years to build and
only seconds to break.
Perhaps, Perhaps…
Perhaps your decision to forgive your partner is a decision you made months or even years ago.
Now you might question how it is even possible to feel as though you have made no progress
on the issue or perhaps have even taken a few steps backward. The lack of progress can begin
to feel overwhelming and hopeless in comparison to the amount of time that has passed, the
lengthy discussions that have taken place, and the effort you have made to forget the thoughts
and fears that have absolutely consumed you.
Perhaps you find yourself wanting to ask your partner more questions about what
happened, only for your partner to respond with frustration over your inability to leave
the past in the past.
Perhaps you find yourself thinking about the incident at random and inconvenient
times, replaying what you believe to have happened over and over again in your mind,
desperately trying to make sense of what happened.
Perhaps you are questioning how your partner could ever have done something so
painful and so unforgivable to a person who they claim to love. Read More…
